Helping someone with Depression

About Depression

What can you do to help?
For people affected by depression, discussing their condition with family and friends, and asking them for their help, can be very daunting. They may feel too scared, ashamed or overwhelmed to admit how they are feeling. Tackling depression may seem an impossible challenge. This is when the encouragement and support of a friend is vital to help them feel less isolated and more motivated to actively work on overcoming depression.


By being a supportive friend, you can encourage someone affected by depression to seek help, receive a correct diagnosis and agree on a treatment with their doctor. But how do you approach this subject with them? You may feel that you need some advice to take the first step. Here are some top tips to start the communication:

Talking about depression with your friend
Some of the symptoms of depression (low mood, irritability and fatigue) can make it difficult for someone affected by depression to maintain friendships. Often someone affected by depression may withdraw from social contacts and may not actively seek to address their problem with their friends. And as mental health conditions are still often associated with a stigma in society, both parties may feel uncomfortable addressing the issue. This is why you as a friend may have to take the first step.

If you suspect your friend may be affected by depression, then you should seek positive ways to show your support and reassure them that you will take them seriously and that you will be there for them to lean on.

You could do this by saying:
You are important to me
You're not alone in this and I'm here for you
You don't have to feel guilty or ashamed, this isn't your fault
I can't really understand what you are feeling, but I can offer my compassion and be a friend to you
I'm going to be there for you to lean on. I'm not going to leave you or abandon you
When all this is over, I'll still be here for you
I'm sorry that you're in so much pain. I am going to take care of myself, so you don't need to worry that your pain might hurt me. You're not alone and neither am I
I love you (if you mean it)
Also consider offering them a hug if you feel comfortable with this.

Try to avoid saying negative things such as:

• Pull yourself together.
• No one ever said that life was easy.
• Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Get a grip.
• So, you're depressed. Aren't you always?
• There's always someone worse off than you are.
• Just try not to be so depressed.
• It's your own fault.

Believe me, I know how you feel. I feel depressed sometimes too.
Once you have approached the subject with your friend, encourage them to visit their doctor (if they haven't done this yet), and ensure that they take any prescribed medication as directed and follow any other therapies recommended by their doctor. Besides the professional support your friend will need, there are also ways in which you as a friend can help them get better.


Some lifestyle changes can help people cope with depression. You can help by encouraging your friend to:
Go outside for some fresh air and sunlight every day – why not invite them for a walk or do some gardening if they don't feel like facing the world?

Take regular moderate exercise – you can suggest you do the exercise together. Encourage them to participate in the exercise by reminding them how good they usually feel afterwards.
Avoid being self-critical – you can help by recognising their accomplishments, however small, and making positive comments whenever possible, e.g. remind them that last week they had three good days and the week before they had two – they're getting better all the time.
Eat a healthy, balanced diet – suggest cooking together or invite your friend over for a meal.
Be aware that your friend may just need to rest – offer practical support like shopping and cleaning the house. Try to balance motivating them without asking them to do more than they are ready for. If your friend has stopped taking care of themselves you could try bringing round some nice soap or bubble bath. It will help them relax and improve their self-esteem.


You can also help them by:
Staying in touch on the phone and/or by e-mail.
Avoiding activities where too much alcohol is consumed as drinking can make symptoms worse.
Making time for activities that you can enjoy together.
Generally, you should motivate your friend to learn about depression and depression treatments. This will encourage them to follow their course of treatment as instructed by their doctor and seek help if something doesn't work for them. They will also see that recovery is possible. You may find it useful to learn about depression together as your friend's concentration and memory might be affected. Audio books are a great way to absorb information if your friend finds it difficult to concentrate on written information.


If your friend is talking about or has attempted suicide
Thoughts of suicide and death can be a major symptom of depression, and should be taken very seriously. If a friend expresses suicidal ideas, reassure them that their life is important to you and many other people and that the appropriate treatment will help them to get better. No matter how hard it may seem to look after someone with suicidal thoughts, it is important to show that you care.


If your friend has suicidal thoughts, talk to other professionals (e.g. GP, emergency services, social services) for advice on how you can help them to stay safe, and encourage your friend to access help and support too. Keeping contact details for support helplines close to hand is also important e.g. Aware loCall Helpline 1890 303 302; Samaritans 1850 60 90 90; 1Life 1800 24 7 100.

Minister McDowell Shows Signs of Stress

23/03/2006

Published Irish Independent

By Mark Reddy  

Mr Mc Dowell’s recent public outburst appeared to show the signs of a man under stress. .“Work related stress affects about one third of the workforce in the EU”. (World Health Organisation 2004) and although clearly he is a very strong, intelligent and clearly committed professional it showed that not even a man in his position is safe from the possible adverse affects that can come from carrying out a difficult and challenging career. Labour leader Pat Rabbitte referred to this as an “intolerable tantrum”, this outburst arose from a difference of opinion in regard to Garda numbers on the streets of Dublin.  

Workplace Stress has arisen as a key cause of absence from work and it is suggested that it now replaces back pain as the most commonly cited problem on medical certificates. Stress can lead to many issues such as a disruption in sleep patterns, mood swings, outbursts difficulty in making decisions and faulty decision making to name but a few.  The World Federation for Mental Health has predicted that by 2020, the primary cause of lost working time will be due to stress.

Having continued to campaign since 2002 for an internal support service made up of professional therapists to be established to support members of An Garda Siochana in dealing with such issues as workplace stress it continues to be my belief that a service like the one I am proposing will help to counter act any adverse affects caused by the very difficult and challenging duties carried out by our police force on a daily basis. I establishing a voluntary support service helping people who suffer stress, false allegation, isolation and illness in the workplace and have continued to keep the Minister and Commissioner aware of my findings and results raised as to the need for such a service to be established to support the Gardai, clearly the Ministers Job is a highly stressful one however so to is the work of the Gardai. Police work in general is considered the most challenging and dangerous professions one can work in, currently the Garda are serviced by a committed and hard working team of seven welfare officers, one sergeant and one inspector catering for the care needs of some twelve thousand officers. 

Routinely Gardaí face the very real threat of violence, trauma and crisis on a daily basis the resulting stress or more appropriately distress may cause some to suffer from stress related symptoms. Symptoms that maybe similar to the possible stress the Minister might be under at present, the constant and real threat that is faced by members of the Gardai on a daily basis can prove to be very difficult. The work of the Gardai can be perceived as times of quiet boredom through to times of crisis and trauma. It’s the changes in environment that results in the body having to adapt in order to meet these changes, these changes in the demand on the body can be immediate and automatic and the resulting stress can help the person experiencing them to perform and meet the challenges presented - or it can be negative and present in the form of distress which can make someone upset and unwell, symptoms that the Minister may well of felt on Monday night.

‘The most widespread negative effect of work on mental health is stress’ World health Organisation.

  

The reaction humans have to stress results in chemical changes in the body, the stimulant hormone adrenaline increases that pours into the blood stream with other hormones producing changes in our bodies designed to protect us, this can be seen as the ‘fight or flight response’ - it provides both the energy and strength needed to either stay and fight or to run away from the perceived danger, in all fairness the Minister stayed and fought his corner but he had that choice and could of walked away if he wished, this is not a choice the Gardai have when dealing with such stress inducing incidences.

Gardaí can face these reactions several times throughout each working shift; which I believe can increase the negative affects of stress. When we deal with the causes of stress we can help elevate it, in the case of members of An Garda Síochána, one way of helping is to provide a service that allows the individuals a safe and secure place to work-through their perceptions and difficulties. This in turn can help to relieve some of the problems and symptoms and also help develop the understanding, awareness and coping skills of the individual, helping them to be more readily able to deal with the everyday and real stressors of the job. This is but one aspect of supporting the members of the force the others are very clearly stated,, documented and requested at every turn and they are simply increased numbers of qualified Gardai to tackle the increasing level of crime resulting in members feeling more secure and less vulnerable and hopefully reducing the effects of distress, we need to provide them with proper working conditions and up to date equipment this will allow them to carry out their duties of protecting life and property with more effect and will allow for officers to feel appreciated by those they are employed by thus increasing self esteem and job satisfaction, we need to provide them with an internal support service like the one I am recommending so that when a traumatic experience is dealt with or when assaulted or experiencing difficulty they can seek help and support in confidence. 

It makes sense to have a healthy workforce, these seem like the basic requirements  and all will have only positive benefits for the Gardai on the Beat, the organisation as a whole and society who requires a supported, healthy and pro-active police service it will also elevate the types of symptoms suffered by Minister McDowell.

(IMPORTANT POINT)

I would hope that this could be considered by the Minister when he next reviews how best to support the Gardai, his outburst was reported to be a meltdown and a tantrum and all of which was visible to all and arose from a disagreement of words and numbers, how must it be to be in the centre of a riot or to attend a scene of a violent murder, rape or accident the likes of which the committed member of An Garda Siochana deal with professionally everyday. 

Hopefully the lesson can now be learned before others have to continue to experience such difficulties as a result of doing their jobs.